I am in a vortex of obligation.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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