are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
