You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
