That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
