im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
