I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
and you fell through a lawn chair
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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