My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
