Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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