The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
