I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
