So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
