I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
