That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize