There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
