Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
