Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
