Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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