first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
