i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
