Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
