"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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