You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
