I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
