I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize