After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
