sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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