remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
