Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize