His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
