She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
