At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
