i just had sex bonerless
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
My vagina is officially offended.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize