i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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