Plan B is the new Plan A
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize