Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
