Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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