Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
