She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize