I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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