I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
