his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize