It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
