Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize