I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
