Whats the glycemic index on semen?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
