They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
