Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
