you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Randomize
