Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
