a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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