would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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