Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize