apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
jump out the window naked night went bad
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
