Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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