You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
