I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
