It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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