I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize