Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
