I'm really into asian looking animals
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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