Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
So much Jack, so little girl.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
