It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
