Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
